I’ve been depressed for a few years. It isn’t nice. It might just be due to the educational system I’m stuck in, or ‘hormones’, or general boredom with the way my life seems to be going right now.
I’ve had the happy-happy medication, from St Johns Wort to some horrific concoction named prozac.
I have to add that I hate medication. I won’t take asprin for headaches, I won’t take paracetamol when it’s offered. Only if I’ve critically injured myself, and they tell me I need it. I don’t know why- just a general mistrust of the stuff.
Anyway- I suppose they helped. Got me past that point at least, and life has started rolling again. I’m just worried that I might start rolling downhill once more. It only seems natural.
Life has ups and downs. But in the end it all balances out, or at least- it has done thus far. Of course, this means that whenever I have a good day, I can expect a few hours of misery later on.
Maybe it’s all just comparative, but I doubt it.
I just hope these final few exams don’t depress me too much. And no, I don’t mean depress me as in ‘I’ll be mildly upset’. I mean they’ll trigger something worse. And that would not be good.
Though, my frame of mind is much improved.
‘What does not destroy you makes you stronger’. Good phrase that. You can always learn from life, even the worst parts. But I’m still weak inside, I think. I haven’t met the real world head on, merely shuffled around within the protected corner that is childhood and adolescence. Any time now I’m going to be booted out of that place, and I can never ever go back. I’ll survive, I think. I just have yet to find out how well I’ll survive.
‘Your school days are the best days of your life’
Oh My God…
I don’t know. I thought I should put up something about it, and at the same time try out this Lj cut. So, two reasons? Good enough.